The give and take of rejection
By Dennis Roberts
Why does one tiny word - No - evoke so much fear in the hearts and minds of so many? Life as a small
business owner requires you to handle rejection everyday. How well do you cope? What can you do to handle rejection
more effectively?
Let’s explore what is being rejected.
Personality
Rejection or criticism of you is aimed at your personality or ego. There is no escaping
it and it can leave you deflated and demoralised. Character assassinations of this type are not constructive.
Your behaviour is one step removed from your ego. It reflects a choice you made at a certain point in time. We all make mistakes (or bad choices), but we can learn from them and make different decisions next time.
I tell my clients two things: make conscious choices, and accept the consequence of those choices. If you must be critical, criticise the behaviour and not the person.
Relationship vs. transactional sellingThere are two approaches to selling - relationship selling and transactional selling. If you adopt the former then rejection may only be a temporary setback. The relationship remains intact and you have the opportunity to re-group and re-engage.
If your approach is transactional then rejection may signal ‘game over’. Unfortunately this is the approach used in many sales transactions and certainly in cold calling approaches.
Your objective should be to reframe the "No" into "No, not at this time". This gives you a re-entry point and time to assess where your strategy failed. Always work with the mindset that failure is feedback and ask your prospect "What could I have done differently to win your business?" or "What would it take to win the deal?"
This is priceless information because your prospect will explain why you were rejected. They may highlight the objection that lost you the deal and present you with an opportunity to overcome that objection.
EmotionRejection evokes emotion on the part of both parties. Make no mistake, it is just as difficult for the person saying "No" as it is for the person being rejected. Why? Because many people mistake what they are actually rejecting and become uncomfortable when they convey this.
Most decisions are made emotionally and justified rationally. The universal law of reciprocity applies here. When you do things for someone they feel a sense of loyalty to you and will want to do something in return, whether it’s a future transaction or a referral.
In relationship selling, if you have nurtured the relationship and given generously of your time, knowledge, ideas and attention, your prospect will feel a sense of indebtedness to you. Remember that indebtedness is a feeling, not a logical thought.
Logic
Sometimes your proposal will be rejected for logical reasons, e.g. a better offer, a cheaper
price, more window space, a better location, more passers-by and so on. Once again, learn from your mistakes, refine
your skills or change your behaviour and re-engage.
Only 7% of communication relates to the words being said. The majority relates to your body language and tone of voice. Walk your talk or risk losing the business.Success tips
What can you do to better handle rejection?
1. Detach your emotions
Remember that most rejections are not personal. Take the opportunity to ask for
feedback and learn your lesson. (Tip: don’t give feedback on feedback).
2. Shift to relationship selling
Even if the relationship is a brief one, show that you care. That’s
what service delivery is all about.
3. Respect your customer’s decision
Even when decisions seem illogical, try to work them to your
advantage. Practice reading emotions and body language. There are only two rules of selling: the customer is always
right, and the customer is always right.
4. Focus on providing valuable service
Too many salespeople find themselves competing on price. Find and
deliver added value to justify your price.
5. Treat doing business and the human interaction that comes with it as a game
Have some fun with business. Emotions (the trigger for most decisions) are a form of energy and the easiest energy
to share is humour and fun. Now who would have thought that being rejected could end up being fun?
Dennis Roberts is founder of The Coaching Professionals, a coaching, consulting and mentoring firm based in NSW. Visit www.coachpro.com.au or call (02) 9388 0521 and ask about our Performance Guarantee.