Installing a new habit and breaking an old one - Part 1
By Stephanie Burns
As part of the Goal Achievers' Program I have been teaching
students how to install new useful habits and to break existing useless
or undesired ones. Having strategies for this type of learning is helpful
because some of our goal activities are better suited to being a habit
rather than an action that requires active motivation.
In this context students decide what activities they want to become
part of their life for a long period or those they will need to do frequently.
Who wants to have to motivate themselves each time they need to drink
water, take a walk, stretch or write another page of their book? These
repetitive long-term activities are less likely to be avoided, forgotten
or abandoned if they become habits.
Making an action a habit requires very little understanding of the
cognitive activity of motivation, however, that knowledge can add an
additional layer of support for habit building.
What is a Habit?
Habits are those things that you do without thinking, like:
-
setting the alarm
- cleaning your teeth
-
doing the laundry
- feeding the dog
What Should be a Habit?
Those activities that you either want to do for an extended period
of time (months or years) or activities you want to do frequently, e.g.
one or more times a day even if for only a few weeks.
Why Would We Want Something to be a Habit?
We want these activities to become a habit because if they don't there
is a good chance they just won't get done. Either because we forget
about them or, once we do remember, we are unable to motivate ourselves
to do anything.
It takes energy to remember and moti-vate ourselves to initiate a
new action. Habituated actions are far less energy consuming. Think
of the benefit if, in addition to having habits for the mundane chores
in life, you had habits for getting up a few minutes earlier in the
morning, eating a proper breakfast, taking the stairs instead of the
elevator, saving a little money every week, paying your bills on time,
drinking water throughout the day, staying in touch with friends, exercising,
stretching, reading a little everyday, relaxing or writing in a journal.
Imagine you actually did these activities without thinking about them,
without the to-ing and fro-ing and mucking about in your mind that goes
on when trying to decide to initiate an action.
The Core Strategies For Building New Habits
Unless you have observed your own process and behaviour while learning,
it is unlikely that you have made explicit the wonderful capability
you have for creating new habits.
Many people I meet do not know that this is even an option. What they
think about most when the subject of habits is presented is of all the
bad habits they have that they want to break!
There are only a few steps to creating a new habit:
-
Decide on what you want to be a habit and be as specific
as possible. A habit of drinking more water is problematic whereas
a habit of drinking six glasses a day is easier to install.
-
You have to set up triggers so you will remember the
action at the time you want to do it. It is hard to install a new
habit if it's not until the end of the day you remember that you meant
to take the stairs at work instead of the elevator. During the time
before the action is a habit, perhaps the first few weeks, you will
need to use external triggers. Make it easy to remember what you are
trying to do, use alarms, notes, friends to call you, rubber bands
on your wrist, padlocks, obstacles etc. Rituals support remembering
- do it in the same place, same time and same surroundings if possible
for the first few weeks.
-
Once you've remembered you have to be able to motivate
yourself to act. Before we discuss how to do that we should discuss
the issue of repetition. New behaviours of any type require repetition
over time. How much repetition and for how long depends on what it
is you are trying to install. One consideration is the size of the
action. For simple habits of short duration -getting up earlier, making
the children's lunch the night before, doing a load of laundry every
morning, saving small change every day, riding your bike to work,
writing in a journal etc - you would do the entire action. For activities
of longer duration you will need another step.
Let's say you want to go for a walk every morning for one hour. Great
habit, but hard to do because of the period of time needed. The first
habit you need is to get up and get out the door. The thought of an
hour walk can undermine your best efforts to fight the avoidance strategies
so short circuit this by installing the habit of getting up in the morning
and heading out the door.
Keep the walk short in the beginning, say 10 minutes. Do that every
day for a couple of weeks until that habit is firmly installed. Then
expand to the hour of walking - that will be the easy part. Also, by
doing this you add a wonderful natural motivation component - that of
anticipation. We are highly motivated to do things we are denying ourselves.
So, if you say 10 minutes a day, don't do 20. You'll end up at the low
point and bungle the motivation that comes with anticipation.
This goes for any habit that you are creating that is being built
over time, like doing 20 push-ups or 100 sit-ups, or saving money.
Start very small, get the habit of starting under control, then build.
This also applies to habits that have multiple actions. Let's say you
want to begin preparing food at home, instead of always eating in cafes
on the way to work or ordering in for dinner.
This is not just a single faceted action. We have to install habits
for checking what's in the fridge, stopping at the shops, getting from
the lounge into the kitchen, preparing the food, preparing for cooking,
doing the cooking, setting the table and cleaning up.
Any one of these actions could keep you from succeeding in installing
this large habit!
Each new action requires motivation and there are a lot of opportunities
to quit before dinner is ever made. A second consideration is the number
of repetitions. An action you will do every day, or even many times
a day, will take only two to three weeks to install. An activity that
you will only do once a week but have decided should become a habit
for a long time, can take up to 12 weeks to install. For instance, taking
the kids to the library every Saturday or having one night a week without
television may take awhile. Why? Because it is easier to forget, there
is less repetition and it is a larger activity which can more easily
engage our natural avoidance strategies. But that is not to say that
it is not worth the effort to create these types of habits.
Installing a habit is not energy free. It costs you the commitment
to the action for the few weeks it takes. It is a 'whatever it takes'
to not miss (of course, if you do miss don't beat yourself up, life
is long and there is more than enough time to get it right. You learn
from each attempt. Just make the next attempt now, not later.)
Next issue we'll look at some strategies that will help motivate you
to continue your new habit.
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reserved.
Stephanie Burns is one of Australia's top adult educators. Her
work has included teaching adults guitar, memory strategies, learning
strategies and training trainers to be better communicators. Her latest
work is in the area of Goal Achievement. Subscribe to email newsletter by visiting
www.stephanieburns.com