Arrive on time, every time!
By Robyn Pearce
If you've ever felt this way about a person, your frustration is probably because they process time in a different way to you.
Each of us fits broadly into one processing style (although you can modify as you progress through life) and some people are one style at home and the other at work. The study of behavioural science known as Neuro Linguistic Programming uses the terms in-time and through-time to explain how this works.
In-time people
An in-time person is great at being present in the moment - very focused on what's under their nose but struggling to manage their long-range time habits. Their ability to mentally detach and forward plan is minimal and it's very difficult to predict how long an action will take. Therefore, they're often late for deadlines, actions or events.
They talk about 'looking back' in time to past events. A future event, on the other hand, is usually in front. If they were to draw a line between past and future (a time-line) it almost always passes through them - hence the term 'in-time'. Their strength is in being fully focused on what's in hand: their weakness is they're often late for things and chaos runs rampant behind them.
Through-time people
Through-time people, on the other hand, often have their past on one side and their future on the other, or both out in front. They are more objective about time; able to detach, to see themselves outside of the events they're involved in. They seem to be effortlessly punctual. Their ability to easily see 'through' or along a time continuum makes it pretty simple for them to plan ahead, to estimate how long they'll need for any activity. Their strength is their ability to plan and anticipate: their weakness is - they're sometimes perceived as aloof and uncaring, because of their ability to detach.
Because opposites attract, intuitively seeking the qualities they lack, couples and even work units are frequently a mixture of styles. As you can imagine, this often causes huge frustration, until they learn to understand and compensate for each other!
The least in-time member of the partnership or work group almost always takes responsibility for the unit's time-keeping. They're not trying to irritate each other with their time habits but they often do. Sound familiar? It happens in nearly every family!
You can't change others
Through-timers, I'm sorry, you can't single-handedly change your in-time buddies. They have to do it for themselves. It might be useful to show them this article though.
You, on the other hand, may need to learn more about relaxing, going with the flow (when it doesn't really matter what time you get somewhere) and being more focused on the 'now'.
The good news is, we can modify our behaviour to make life easier for ourselves. In-timers, here are some tips for you:
1. Change the pattern
If you're tempted to fit in one more task, notice your thoughts. Whenever you catch yourself saying, 'I'll just do this one thing more' - don't! Intuitively you know it will make you late but you've become used to blocking that thought. Become more aware of what you are doing.
2. Start with the end in mind
Consider what time you want to be somewhere and then count back the minutes, including drive time, park time, can't-find-the-keys time, toilet, coffee and last-minute interruption time. Then, add on an extra 15 minutes as a safety net. You'll be shocked at how much earlier you have to leave! But I really encourage you to just try it a few times. You'll be delighted with the stress-free feeling you experience at the other end. What you're doing at a cellular level is creating an earlier trigger to tell you it's time to get going.
3. It's not a waste of time
You're probably reading this and saying, 'But I'll waste time by getting there too early!' It's unlikely - but just in case, take something to read or work on whilst you wait.
4. Visualise success
When you've had a punctuality 'win', notice your feelings of success, calm and non-stress. Hear the congratulations of surprised friends or workmates. See yourself arriving relaxed at your destination. Anchor those feelings and thoughts. The next time you're tempted to last-minute, remember how success felt and act accordingly.
5. Do it one step at a time
Like a reforming alcoholic, don't worry about total change in one hit - it may seem too big! Just concentrate on one task at a time, one day at a time. Make a mission of being on time for one thing each day. One day, you'll look back in amazement and realise that you're now regularly on time for almost everything.
By the way, you might be wondering how I can describe so accurately the feelings and experiences of an in-time person.
Very easy - I am one!
For years I struggled but the good news is… I won! Every now and then I break out (especially if it's a social occasion and it doesn't really matter what time we get there) but these days it's very rare for me to be late for any business event.
I wish you joy and success as you create the behaviour of your choice and remember - it can be done!
Robyn Pearce is an international time management specialist. If you'd like to know more about the 'Getting a grip on time' training from one of the company licensees or receive Robyn's free e-zine, short punchy 'Top Time Tips' by email every few weeks, just email robynp@time-specialist.com. Check out her website (with heaps of articles) at: Website: www.gettingagripontime.com Tel: (02) 9904 9182.
